I’ve been abducted by aliens. Twice!

My program director dangled geologist heaven in front of my face. Sparkling geodes and ancient alien diamonds bigger than my fist on a new planet? That’s a no brainer.

Except I’ve only found dirt and trouble here.

And did I mention I’ve been abducted? First I got snatched by monsters I’m pretty sure were going to scarf me down like a pretzel. Then some alien savages scooped me up. Get my travel agent on the line!

Sure, the brute who carts me off to his village may be hot in that muscley, Tarzan-in-a-loincloth kinda way, but he has scales. And a tail. I don’t think Jane would have gone for that.

I’m convinced the savages will torture and kill me, but it turns out they have other species-saving plans.

Well, the joke’s on them, because I can’t pop out babies even if I wanted to.

Only, they seem to have a fix for that too…